


How did we get here Lover?

by sandychick92



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Disappointment, F/F, Feelings Realization, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Memories, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, post-reveal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 01:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandychick92/pseuds/sandychick92
Summary: Lena tries to come to terms with Kara being Supergirl.She loves Kara, that much she knows but...is it enough?As she remembers the times spent with her she'll have to decide whether she can actually live without Kara or if she only needed time to process everything.





	How did we get here Lover?

**Author's Note:**

> This scene came to my mind when I first listened to Lover by Taylor Swift. 
> 
> Hope you like it!

Lena is looking out to the city in her office with a glass of scotch in her hand, her reliable old friend.

Everything is dark, mirroring how she is feeling inside. Somehow this feels like home. Something she knows, she’s s used to. Feeling completely in the dark and alone after being betrayed by someone she loves.

… _There’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear… _

“Ha”, she muses as she listens to the soft music. “It always did feel that way didn’t it? Right from the start.”

… _Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?… _

From the moment she saw her, there was this connection unlike anything she had ever felt. It had felt like she had known this girl her whole life not for… well… 20 seconds.

“Well, I finally understand all the hype around Taylor Swift. Guess she truly does have a song for every moment in you life”, she can’t help but say with pain in her voice as she smiles, trying to hold back the tears that are starting to form in her eyes.

… _Can I go where you go?… _

She can’t help but think how true this words feel to her. She would’ve followed Kara anywhere, _ANYWHERE_ if she had only asked her to.

… _Can we always be this close? _

_Forever and ever and… _

She would’ve done anything to keep Kara close to her forever. To feel her embrace, her warmth. To feel _safe_ in her arms for probably the first time in her life. To feel that close to someone was something she had never had, she had never _expected_ because how can any one _possibly_ love a Luthor.

She takes another sip off her scotch.

… _We could let our friends crash in the living room… _

She thinks of all those game nights where they would stay up until the early hours of the morning so instead of going home everyone would just sleep in the living room. Like a _family _who can’t get enough of being together. She can’t help but feel a twinge of pain in her chest. She had considered them family,_ all_ of them, every single one of them.

… _And I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you… _

“How can anyone _not?_, she asks herself.

Kara was the embodiment of everything good in this world. Everything that is worth fighting for. She’s so full of love and kindness and innocence. How can _that_ girl also be Supergirl? Someone who doesn’t trust Lena as completely as Kara does. Someone who constantly has to make the tough decision of hurting someone – although she know understands why someone with Supergirl’s strength always seemed to hold back when fighting aliens, why she was always putting everyone else’s safety and comfort before hers. She chuckles, “Guess they truly are one and the same”.

… _I’ve loved you three summers now honey but I want them all… _

“Three years Kara… for three years you had the chance to tell me and you kept choosing to lie to me”, she takes another sip off her glass and walks to refill it.

She’d be lying if she didn’t admit that deep down she had thought about it. About the possibility of spending forever next to Kara. Of laughing together everyday, of being on the receiving end of that smile that could light up any room and dispell any darkness. Of being wrapped by those arms that made her feel like nothing and no one could ever hurt them and well.. guess she was right in a sense.

She _had_ tried, at least in the beginning. I mean, _no one _buys a company to help out a friend or fills their office with flowers, right? But Kara never seemed to react to this, never expressed any interest or acted nervous around her. She may be the girl of steel but Lena was sure that even her would be slightly flustered when being around a person she liked. So she took the obvious conclusion, Kara was just not into her like that. It was fine with her though, as long as she got to have Kara in her life, one way or another.

… _Ladies and gentlemen will you please stand?.. _

_God was she stupid for even imagining it?_ She swirls her liquor as the scene of their wedding unfolds in her mind.

… _I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover… _

A magnetic woman she wouldn’t be able to escape even if she wanted to – which she doesn’t.

… _My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue… _

She has always known the sadness that lies within Kara’s heart, she knew she had lost her parents from a young age but it isn’t until now that she understands just how deep that pain really is. As for her, well, her heart _had _been borrowed but not by a lover, but by her brother who ran away with it when he lost all sanity. He took all the happy memories of her life with him. Until she met Kara.

… _All’s well that ends well to end up with you… _

If it meant ending up with Kara for the rest of her life, she didn’t care what came their way. If they had to suffer through it, to be apart only to end up together, it was worth it.

If the road led to Kara standing at the altar waiting for her, she didn’t care how long it was or how many steps it took. She would walk through it to hell and back with her, _for _her.

… _And you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me… _

She laughs softly. “God, you really _are_ cute when get all flustered with my jokes or my flirting”, she says as she takes one sip off her glass.

… _And at every table I’ll save you a seat lover… _

She thinks back to all those lunch dates at Noonan’s where she would sit at their favorite table waiting for Kara to arrive. All those game nights where both her and Kara always saved a seat next to each other on the couch without even having to ask because they both knew they would always want to be together.

… Take me out and take me home

Forever and ever and…

“How did we get here Kara?”, she says with her voice breaking and letting the tears she had been holding off finally run free as she breaks their picture on the desk with her glass.


End file.
